If your latest media release about a new staff member included that you were “excited” or “delighted” to have them join the team – you have wasted a valuable opportunity to provide meaningful commentary to the market.

A media release should be short and sharp and, above all, should be written in the same style of the news outlets that you are targeting.

It was once the case that a media release would never be reproduced verbatim (or for that matter, that a news story would never have only one source). The evolving media landscape has changed this, and for a variety of reasons many journalists rely more heavily on media releases than in the past (some journalists and media outlets more so than others).

Accordingly, there are two possible outcomes for your media release (or three, if you consider it may simply be deleted).

Either an old school style of journalist will report on your media release, cut out of all the guff, and include only the relevant facts. Or it will be received and reproduced verbatim as it is written.

Either way, a better approach is to only include meaningful information. The brutal truth is no one cares if you are “excited” to announce an appointment (or a new business initiative). But they are interested in why. Give them the why, and you will hold their interest.

Take the following media release introduction as an example.

“Ms Susan Smith, CEO of ABC Pty Ltd, said today that she was delighted to announce the appointment of Mr Edward Man to the important position of head of client services”.

This clearly emphasises the wrong things.

Ms Smith is hardly likely to say she’s really upset that Mr Man has been appointed (although - it would certainly be more newsworthy if she did!).

Equally – there is no need to “announce” things, when a media release is in itself an announcement.  It becomes an announcement announcing an announcement!

The example also places the emphasis on Ms Smith rather than on the real person of interest to the media in the story, Mr Man.

Care should also be taken with the use of the word “important” in a media release. It can make people sound pompous – and while something may be important to them, it may not be important to anyone else. Instead, let the role stand on its merit, and let people decide for themselves whether it is important or not.

So how should it read? There’s much more impact in a new appointment release that clearly and succinctly says:

“To help manage anticipated growth, Mr Edward Man has been appointed to the newly - created role of head of client services for ABC Pty Ltd”.

In just a short sentence, the key information has been communicated – the business is growing, it is managing that growth, the team is expanding, and the new person and their job title has been named.

Information about the new role will show its importance and Mr Man’s experience and qualifications can tell the story of competence (adding to the importance of the role and that the business is able to attract staff of this calibre).

In this simple example, the reason given for the appointment shows the company in a positive way and doesn’t need a lot more elaboration. Any quotes can be used to talk about the company strategy and how the appointment fits in with this (without over-playing it).

And it’s achieved by implication, with much more impact because there isn’t any self-aggrandisement.

If there is a chance that your media release is going to be reproduced verbatim – and these days there is – why not use that opportunity for coverage to talk, not about how excited and pleased you are, but what this new role will mean for your business and for clients.